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How To Kill Your Dreams

How many half-finished projects do you have cluttering up your life? I’m talking about the kind of projects that seemed like a “no-brainer” at the time but somehow fell to the back-burner. 

Maybe you came up with a unique business idea that no one else is doing. 

Maybe you “started” a new band last year, but haven’t actually practiced together yet. 

Maybe you’ve been “meaning to” transition your little bedroom studio into a full-time endeavor.

How many infomercials have you seen for a product that made you say “I had that idea 5 years ago!”?

Maybe you have a few half-written songs sitting on a hard drive somewhere. Maybe you have a gym membership that you pay for but never use (thanks, Planet Fatness).

Basically, every single unfulfilled New Year’s resolution you ever made would fall under this category.

If this sounds like you in any way, then congratulations. You’re the victim of a phenomenon calledThe Law of Diminishing Intent.

“The longer you wait to do something, the greater the odds that you will never actually do it.”

Don’t just let your eyes glaze over that law. Go back and read it again, then let it sink in for a second…

This is something that has KICKED MY FUCKING ASS over the last 6 years.

It’s the reason I’ve only written 14 articles in my blog’s four-year existence.

It’s the reason I’ve yet to launch my podcast.

It’s the reason I never launched Drumtrunk.

It’s ultimately the reason my first software company failed to achieve any amount of success (and thus has been put on hiatus).

I’m sure you can relate.

Every single one of our half-finished projects are casualties of the Law of Diminishing Intent.

They are half-assed attempts at progressing your life. Nothing more than a polite “nod” to progress.

Don’t get me wrong. There is value in attempting new things, stretching your comfort zone, and setting goals. The part where you and I have fallen short is on taking action.

The one thing that actually matters.

If you were to boil down the difference between successful and unsuccessful studios to one thing, that one thing would be action.

The successful see a goal or an opportunity and take action immediately.

The unsuccessful say, “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

The Difference Between Successful and Unsuccessful People

Taking action immediately is one thing that will put you ahead at the end of the day. However, it takes a slight shift in mindset.

The unsuccessful say, “I can’t…”

The successful ask, “How can I…?”

Instead of using one of the typical excuses I hear constantly…

  1. “I can’t afford it.”
  2. “I don’t have the time.”
  3. “I don’t know how.”

Change your mindset from “I can’t…” to “How can I?”

1.”How can I afford it?”

Maybe it’s time to take a hard look at your personal spending habits. Maybe it’s time to sell some pointless shit you’ve been holding onto for no apparent reason. Maybe it’s time to actually invest in yourself for a change.

  1. “How can I find the time?”

Maybe it’s finally time to “80/20 your life” and start saying “no” to the things that aren’t progressing your life in a positive way. Stop spending so much time browsing Netflix, playing video games, or bitching to your friends about how tough your life is.

  1. “How can I learn?”

Most people hit a wall and just give up. You’ve heard this line from a thousand people:

“I want to ______, but I just don’t know how to ______.”

You can fill in the blank with pretty much anything.

“I want to start a studio, but I don’t know what gear to buy.”

“I want to start a blog, but I don’t know how to use Wordpress.”

Instead of making excuses at the first sign of resistance, change your mindset to “how can I?”

“I’m going to start a studio, so I should research which gear is the best for my budget.”

“I’m going to start a blog, so I should watch some tutorial videos about the basics of Wordpress.”

Notice how the word “but” isn’t in either of those sentences?

The action takers are the guys that had the same infomercial idea as you, except they took the actions necessary to bring the idea to fruition.

They are the people that stuck with the band long enough to find their own sound, which led to their ever-increasing success (Bring Me The Horizon is a great example).

These are the people that took action every single morning at the gym to transform their bodies from “What a fat shit slob” into “I’d probably tap dat ass.”

These are the producers and audio engineers that made the leap of faith necessary to pursue their passions full-time, instead of “waiting until next week.”

How To Kill Your Dreams

Every time you put something off until tomorrow you might as well put a gun to the head of that dream/passion/goal/idea and pull the fucking trigger.

Procrastination leads to a long list of “I should”, “I need to”, or “I wish I”, instead of “I’ve done.”

Procrastination leads to stagnation.

Stagnation leads to complacency.

Complacency leads to mediocrity (and type-2 diabetes).

Mediocrity leads to unfulfillment.

And unfulfillment, frankly, leads to a shit life.

Who knew one law about procrastination could lead to such a Debbie Downer email?

Ready To Change?

Let’s talk about what you can do to avoid becoming a victim of this law.

You essentially have 48 hours to act on a new goal before it starts to wither and die. This goes for pretty much everything that requires action on your behalf.

If it’s an action or goal that will take more than 48 hours to complete, then make sure you’ve broken down the goal into a list of bite-sized chunks you can tackle in less than 48 hours each.

For every second, minute, hour, day, week, and month that goes by, you lose that passion and excitement about doing what you were initially so excited about.

Of course, making the change is easier said than done. To really make a change, you have to establish some form of accountability.

Find that friend who always seems to get shit done. The guy that never procrastinates, neverdelays, and never makes excuses.

The guy that always takes action as soon as he can.

This is the guy you want to tell all of your intentions to. Let him know that you’ve been struggling with procrastination, and you will be doing “X” every day until “Y” is accomplished.

Make sure he holds you accountable to your plan. Otherwise, you will easily slip back into a routine of complacency.

I personally have a “goal walk” with my best friend every week. This is basically just a walk we take around downtown Nashville every Wednesday night. During this walk, we discuss our progress since our last meeting, and we share our goals for the upcoming week.

Simply creating enough accountability in your life will be enough to eliminate most of the pointless procrastination. All of your “I should be’s” will turn into “I’m doing” or “I already did.”

The more people you tell about your plans, the more people can hold you accountable to what you said you’re going to do.

“How does this apply to my studio?”

You may wonder what all this has to do with your own studio or business struggles. The answer iseverything.

The mere awareness that something called “The Law of Diminishing Intent” exists is enough for some people to get off their asses, stop wishing, and start doing.

Applying the 48 hour rule to your studio (or life, for that matter) is enough to change the trajectory of your career forever.

This small change can have a major impact on what you will be talking about in a casual conversation with your best friend 5 years from now.

Option 1 – The Procrastinator 5 years from now : “Dude, the Tennessee Titans football team looks like trash again this year. I can’t believe they’ve gotten the number 1 draft pick the past 3 out of 5 years. What in the actual hell?”

This is a low-value conversation that ultimately has no lasting impact on anyone’s life. The Procrastinator has clearly been following the Titans’ shitshow over the past 5 years and has little-to-nothing to show for it in his personal life.

Option 2 – The Action Taker 5 years from now : “I’ve been brainstorming ways we can expand our studio. I thought about adding a 2nd control room so my assistants can be working on editing tracks while I’m recording the band in Studio A.”

This is a much more meaningful conversation that shows how much work the “Action Taker” has put in the past 5 years.

As a matter of fact, “option 2” is a real conversation I had with my friend Sam Pura, the owner ofThe Panda Studios. He expanded his studio to multiple control rooms in an effort to increase his potential income (it worked).

Sam Pura is a guy who’s been hustling for years. He does what he says he’s going to do, and he doesn’t make excuses for anything.

Which would you rather be: A thriving producer with new employees and an ever-expanding studio or a “sports bro” bitching about football with his buddies while never taking action on his dreams?

I don’t know about you, but that seems like an easy choice… yet so many people become the bitching sports bro.

The Five Frogs

I’ll finish things off with this riddle:

“If 5 frogs are sitting on a log, and 4 decide to jump off, how many frogs are left?”

Think you have it?

The answer is five. Five frogs remain.

Why five? Because there is a major difference between “deciding” and actually “doing.” Keep that in mind the next time you put off something important in your life.

What has procrastination cost you in the past?

Has procrastination caused you to miss out on opportunities?

Has procrastination caused you to let down people in your life?

Has procrastination caused you to fail to reach a goal you set out for?

The entire “I’ll do it someday” mindset can be a massive detractor to making any sort of progress in your life.

By: Brian Hood

NUHBEGINC MULTIMEDIA

Healthy Relationship

Here are a few of those things that I’ve learned do seem to say something about the strength of your union:

You Speak Your Mind

Relationships thrive when couples can express themselves freely and honestly. That means no topic is off-limits, and you both feel heard. Consistent communication is vital to building a lasting life together.

You Have Your Own Space

Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean you have to spend every moment together. Taking time to pursue your own interests and friendships keeps your relationship fresh and gives you both the opportunity to grow as individuals—even while you’re growing as a couple.  

You Fight

Disagreements are normal, so if you aren’t fighting, chances are you’re holding back. But when people in healthy relationships fight, they fight productively and fairly. That means avoiding name-calling or put-downs. It also means striving to understand your partner instead of trying to score points. And when you’re wrong? You apologize.

You Like Yourself And Your Partner

Chances are your relationship won’t suddenly get better if you win the lottery, have a baby, or move into your dream house. So don’t base your partnership on the hope that it will change. You recognize that neither of you is perfect, and you accept and value each other for who you are right now—not who you might become.

You Make Decisions Jointly

You don’t call all the shots. Neither does your partner. From what movie to see to how many children to have, you make decisions together and listen to each other’s concerns and desires. Sure, this may mean you see Transformers on Saturday night. But on Sunday night, it’s your turn.

You Find Joy

Healthy relationships are full of laughter and fun. This doesn’t mean you’re giddy every hour of the day—or that she doesn’t drive you up the wall sometimes—but it does mean that your life together is mostly happy in sometimes simple ways. (Making dinner, laughing at the same things, finishing each others’ sentences…)

You Find Balance

Sometimes your partner needs to work longer hours while you play chauffeur and chief cook. Or you must devote time to an elderly parent while your spouse tackles the chores. That’s life. What matters is that, in the long run, your trade-offs seem fair.

You Treat Each Other With Kindness

Nothing is more important than treating the person you love with care, consideration, empathy, and appreciation. If you find yourself showing more respect to people you hardly know than you show your partner, take a step back and revisit your priorities.

You Trust Each Other

Healthy relationships are built on trust and a commitment to communication without reservations or secrets. Want to know how much you trust each other now? Take this quiz  

You Let Things Go

Your partner will annoy you. You will annoy him or her, too. You will say things you don’t mean. You will behave inconsiderately. The important thing is how you deal with all this. So he forgot to pick up milk for the second time? Tell him you’re disappointed, of course—then let it go.

You Are Intimate

Sex is an important part of healthy relationships, but it’s only one part, and it’s different than intimacy, which is less about physical satisfaction than about bonding, friendship, and familiarity. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you’ll feel connected—in and out of bed.

Your Relationship Is Your Safe Place

Your relationship should be a safety net—a stable place to come home to at the end of the day. That doesn’t mean you don’t fight—it just means that when things are hard, you’d rather see your partner than commiserate with coworkers at Happy Hour.

You Talk To Your Partner, Not To Other People

When you have issues and concerns, you share them with your partner, not your Facebook friends. You can use pals as a sounding board, of course, but not as a crutch to avoid hard conversations with your significant other.

You Say The Magic Words

 “I love you”, “Thank you,” and “I’m sorry.” 

By: Devon Corneal

NUHBEGINC MULTIMEDIA

10 Reasons Why Some People Will Never Succeed

In O.G Mandino’s The greatest salesman in the world, a very important fact was made which said that:

“two amongst a thousand wise men, will define success in the same words, yet failure is always described in one way. Failure is man’s inability to reach his goals in life whatever they may be.”

While success is relative, subjective, holds monetary and non- monetary value, failure is more a “one size fits all” recipe. Below are ten things people do to fail on purpose.

1. They don’t understand the value of time.

“Any successful entrepreneur knows that time is more valuable than money itself.” – Richard Branson

Unsuccessful people don’t value their time. They are everywhere, anywhere, anytime because they lack the ability to dedicate their time towards their goals. And year after year they make new promises which never come to fruition simply because they couldn’t be bothered to put in the time required towards their goals. Time management skills, learning how to say no and knowing what commitments to undertake, is a step towards great success in any area of our lives.


2. They don’t do things that are in alignment with their goals

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” – Roy Disney.

The more important a goal is, the higher it will be on your hierarchy of values and the more discipline and order you will have associated with it. The less important a goal is, the lower it will be on your hierarchy of values and the less discipline and more disorder you’ll have associated with it. Unsuccessful people have mistaken busyness with productivity. They are a part of everything but nothing which they do is in alignment to their values and their goals. Writing down in a journal what your gaols are and implementing strategies which can get you there will help you identify things that are not on par with where you are going.

3. They never step up to the plate

“People seem to think that success in one area can compensate for failure in other areas, but can it really? True effectiveness requires balance” – Stephen Covey

So your boss sucks and you really hate your job but this is no reason to slack and produce mediocre work. You’re getting paid to be there so do it right, life has this universal law of giving you what you put in. It’s just maturity and wisdom to pursuit excellence no matter the circumstances. Unsuccessful people are the ones who are okay with getting bad grades and won’t bother finding an effective studying method that will help their learning ability, because after all, being a student of distinction is less about how smart you are but more about how well you can plan and prepare, and that makes you feel smarter and that in itself produces great results.

4. They have self-imposed limitations

“You are what you are by what you believe” – Oprah Winfrey

Unsuccessful people tend to say things like “I’m just not good with numbers”, “I just really hate studying”, and “I just don’t think I can run a successful business”. They put limits on themselves and excuse their behaviour but it’s really just a way of underachieving and aiming low enough to not miss. Get rid of the idea that you only have a specific set of skills and talents for specific tasks, stop thinking that you’re not as intelligent as the next person. What life requires of you is to make the most of yourself, for yourself, and for others.

5. They are good at making excuses

“If you can’t make it good, at least make it look good” – Bill Gates

These are the people who will find reasons and logic as to why they can’t and why they shouldn’t. They sometimes mistake this abhorrent tendency for “just being realistic”. They lack imagination and always find ways to justify why something shouldn’t be but they never really try. The best remedy for this is to stop your mind when it’s about to start making the excuses and re-ignite the engine that has started it all.

6. They lack class

“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Unsuccessful people usually tend to have no social IQ. They say things like “well at least I’m being honest” or “this is how I am, deal with it”. They don’t know how to treat other people and tend to be arrogant, for no apparent reasons most of the time. Nobody likes a big mouth, a show off, a humble boaster, or people who don’t know how to just say thank you when given a compliment. These traits are unbecoming and are not what true class acts are made of. Being nice and polite to people you like is easy, being nice and polite to someone you cannot tolerate or who you are in constant disagreement with – that is character. Learning how to speak to people is a skill only few have mastered. It has been said the best way to test a man’s character is by watching how he acts when standing in a very long queue and is met with bad service, how he handles Christmas lights and his reaction when you ruin their expensive items.

7. They are procrastinators

“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone” ― Pablo Picasso

The funny thing about this one is that they are usually self-proclaimed procrastinators. They see no shame in it. This goes back to them never understanding the value of time. They are okay with living a life that keeps up with yesterday. They live life as though they just have another one in the bank. Let’s just see how round one goes and if all else fails we press next or rewind or pause. Understanding that you start dying the moment you are born and wisdom to realize that every day is a gift and you owe it to yourself to do everything you can do in those twenty four hours because nothing’s ever promised today tomorrow.

8. They don’t’ take action

“Do something today, your future self will thank you for” – Les Brown

The simplicity of this rule of life may be why they disregard the magnitude of its effects. Unsuccessful people tend to ponder and leave footprints in the sands of time. They can talk a great game and they dream really big but they lack the courage to just go forth. Stop dreaming about what will be, dreams in themselves are not bad but get up, show up and DO something. Stop with the coffee shop meetings and go do something.

9. They can’t face adversity

“All sunshine and no rain makes a dessert” – Arabian Proverb

There was a shepherd boy, he was not a warrior and he was small in size. He looked at a giant and said “I will strike you down and cut off your head” and that is exactly what he did. The thing with challenges is, they’re only as big as we make them seem and as strong as our weakness will allow. Unsuccessful people have not understood this and they give up all too quickly because things got uncomfortable, things got a little bit rough, they want roses without the thorns, babies without labour and a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow without bearing the storm. Overcoming challenges not only bring us closer to our goals but they turn us into someone we never imagined existed. Don’t be afraid to conquer fears and to enter new territory, step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself. In the midst of adversity courage is born. You’ll never know how strong you are if you’ve never had to fight and sometimes you might fail but at least you failed and proved to Goliath that he wasn’t quite the Giant he thought he was.


10. They are apathetic

“So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth” -Revelation 3:16

Yes there are natural fence sitters. They never have an opinion about anything, they can’t make decisions and are over the border plain ignorant. They can’t hold smart conversations and are not open minded if it isn’t directly in relation to what they know. They think everyone should view life the way they view it. They are indifferent about everything and stand for nothing. They don’t read, they don’t educate themselves past “formal education” and they put no effort into how they present themselves. Even if they never achieve their highest potential this is okay with them because in a world so full of wonder and curiosity they have managed to find a way to be bored. Apathy is a silent killer. Find something that you are passionate about, even if you don’t get paid for it. Put your gift to use.

The people who are out there making things happen are not as extraordinary as we make them ought to be. They’re pretty plain and most of  the time after a second glance they’re not all that exceptional in any way but they’ve managed to get to where they are and stay there because they mastered the art of discipline and being the right person at the right time. Maybe you have so many things you want to complete and sometimes you feel so overwhelmed because, there’s just not enough time. Put the cell phone down, log off once in a while and stop minding everybody’s business and you’ll be amazed at the potential you’ll unlock.

By: Kayiba Mpoyi

NUHBEGINC MULTIMEDIA