Question: How much sex is too much sex in a day a week a month a year? Would you leave your mate over too much sex? How much is not enough sex for example is once a month not enough sex and would you be done with the relationship?
Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as “sacred space” or “Sacred Temple.” In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is particularly important for men to learn. Before beginning the Yoni Massage it is important to create a space for the woman (the receiver) in which to relax, from which she can more easily enter a state of high arousal and experience great pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) will experience the joy of giving pleasure and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of “safe sex” and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma. The goal of the Yoni massage is not solely to achieve orgasm, although orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal can be as simple as to pleasure and massage the Yoni. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and do not have to worry about achieving any particular goal. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return, but simply allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself.
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to breathe deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or begins to take shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is most important. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to encourage the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching her Yoni. Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other’s eyes as much as possible. The receiver should tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc. need to be increased or decreased. Limit your conversation and focus on the pleasurable sensation, too much talking will diminish the effect. The Crown Jewel The clitoris is an amazingly complex structure, similar in function to the male’s glans, but surprisingly – up to fourtimes more sensitive. The glans portion of the clitoris holds 6,000 – 8,000 sensory nerve endings, more than any other structure in the human body. This hypersensitive node has only one purpose: pleasure. Nothing exceeds its ability to receive and transmit sensations of touch, pressure or vibration. The glans are the “crown jewel” of the clitoral system! Stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to relax and breathe. Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. It is important to remember that this is a massage in which you are nurturing and relaxing the Yoni. With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a “come here” gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, “the sacred spot”. She may feel the need to urinate, experience a little discomfort or most hopefully pleasure. Vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that’s between your middle finger and pinky. Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well. An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of the right hand into her anus. [In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is gently massaging her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni and your thumb on her clitoris, “You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand.”] You can use your left hand to massage her breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it’s usually best to use the thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of the hand resting on, and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. Continue massaging, using varying speed, pressure and motion, all the while continuing to breathe deeply and looking into each other’s eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. Some women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of immeasurable value to her. If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called “riding the wave.” In ending the massage, slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to relax and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality.